Evolution of the sports bettor
Evolution in…handicapping
Anytime a game is mentioned the first words out of your mouth refer to the point spread, total, and what side you were on since you obviously bet it. It doesn’t matter if the game was yesterday or five years ago or how obscure the teams were, the vivid memories feel like life changing events. It could be the Southland Conference Semifinal from 2008 when you remember having Stephen F Austin as a big favorite that blew a 14 pt lead against Northwestern St . The way you rationalize the meltdown? It was only a one unit play and back then you’d didn’t bet large sums of cash.
Doug Gottlieb, Matt Norlander, Jeff Goodman, and Andy Glockner’s twitter feeds are jammed up on game day because you’ve asked them questions about 17 different games and its not even 10am yet. Your desire to get the insider angle on SIU Edwardsville vs Tennessee St is eventually what will get you blocked by each high profile sports personality.
Friday is usually a miss work day for you if you’re behind on capping the full card. It’s not that you’re sick or anything, it’s just that all of the ESPN Radio guys give out their plays that day and you pray certain personalities don’t mush your best bets.
Evolution in…research methods
You are the only person you know who has actually been to a real physical newsstand because it’s the only place to find The Gold Sheet and Power Sweep during football season. Just to make sure they don’t run out of the three copies they actually stock, you tip the clerk and extra 20 to protect yours.
Marc Lawrence’s Playbook is your Bible and instead of looking forward to vacations or major family milestones the release date of Phil Steele’s college football annual is all you care about each summer.
You receive more mail from DonBest and handicappers you’re convinced live in their parent’s basements than you do from friends and family. The day it became illegal for online books to market to customers in the states your mailman brought you a thank you card.
The only articles worth reading in Sport Illustrated are the pieces exposing point shaving. You’ve convinced yourself that you bet on ASU every game they failed to cover during the Benny Silman era and that Scooter McDougle was out to personally screw your bankroll while at Toledo.
Evolution in…relationships and dating
Texting your girlfriend very detailed and explicit instructions on how to place a bet is acceptable practice. The over in the San Diego/LA Dodger game was a lock and you couldn’t get down to the sportsbook in time to place your bet and the smartphone app wasn’t working. Solution? Call her multiple times during the process for play by play to make sure you end up with action on the game.
The woman in your life knows that from August to January you will be unavailable pretty much all weekend every weekend. As an addendum to the mutually agreed upon dating policy now that ESPN has started to televise college games during the week, every weekday is also a no go since it’s “your busy season.”
It’s not if you bet the game but rather what team you bet on tonight according to your girlfriend. She roots for your side because she knows her birthday present and choice of restaurant on date night hinges on Middle Tennessee covering against Troy.
Using terms like point spread, over/under, juice, parlay, teaser, and money line in regular daily conversation have become a force of habit for your girl. Comprehension of gambling terminology alone has become the number one reason why you love her and you can’t remember what it was like when she was so naive.
Evolution in…betting trends and seeking value
Missing a year of betting on the the Super Bowl coin toss is wasted opportunity because the reduced juice offers more value than any other Superbowl prop.
Structuring your betting day isn’t based on relative strength of games but rather on the time slot they’re being played(12, 3:30, 7:30 in college football/1 and 4 in NFL). As the next set of games approaches you begin to sweat that your wins won’t post in time to allow for reinvesting. In the rare occurrence you have a few bucks left during a certain time slot it’s mandatory you play a 6-8 team moneyline parlay hoping this is the day that the lottery ticket cashes.
Evolution in…conspiracy theory
You are convinced that the only reason you ever lose bets is because the team you bet on is shaving points.
Officials clearly missed that call because they knew you had a bet on the game. Forget the fact it was only the 5th leg of a 13 pt teaser where you were the lone bettor impacted by a missed extra pt in a 48-3 route of TCU vs UNLV.
Evolution in…social policy and sports viewing
Figuring why your friends look at you like your nuts when you tell them you have the first half over in the East-West Shrine game is something you can’t comprehend. In reality, the hardest part is explaining to them why you’re even watching the East-West Shrine game unless you aspire to be Todd McShay, draft analyst.
Watching games you don’t have money on is no longer an option because you kick yourself for missing a winner. However, this is an extremely rare occurrence because if it is on TV there’s a good chance you’re already in action.
There are countless nights spent sitting and “watching” games on ESPN GameCast. You recently watched a 30 point blowout because you had a sizable wager on the under. Forget the fact it’s just computer animation and scrolling statistics, you may as well be sitting courtside with Jack Nicholson
