Gambling Etiquette
We all know about the unspoken rules in sports: don’t stare down a pitcher after hitting a homerun in baseball, don’t take a run at a star player in hockey, and don’t bang a former teammate’s wife in the NBA. These generally accepted norms don’t need to be written down in a players handbook…they’re passed down through generations and become essential in maintaining the status quo. Gambling is different; you have players of different ability levels unaware of how you’re theoretically supposed to behave in the community. Here are a few helpful hints on behaviors that scream amateur hour should you choose to be that guy
Don’t past post winners
Sharing games before they kickoff is great, it generally shows that magnanimous spirit to like minded individuals respecting your opinions. Don’t feel like doing that? There’s nothing that says gamblers need to make their wagers available for public consumption. However, don’t be an asshole and tell your buddies about all the winners you had only after they go final. First off, no one’s going to believe you but more importantly nobody cares. If you’re betting to gain the approval of others switch to arts and crafts, that way you’ll have a tangible end product to leave on a coffee table allowing you to show it off for the next 20 years.
Pay Your Debts
Not everyone bets in Vegas. Hell 99.9% of you that will read this article most likely play through local bookmakers. There’s no bigger scumbag move than walking out on your debt. Whether it’s $100, $1,000, or $10,000 when you’re down money act like an adult and pay it off. Even if you’ve dug yourself a hole that can’t be paid off in one lump sum come up with a payment plan. We all expect our bookies to have the envelope for us when we win, same practice should be reciprocated when we lose. Bottom line if you don’t have money that you can afford to lose then there’s no need to be gambling in the first place.
Accept responsibility for your own losses
This rule goes hand in hand with paying your debts. We all make our own decisions in life and that includes the games we bet. I don’t care if it’s the refs, player miscues, clock malfunctions, or getting the best of it with the Cleveland Browns (no, I’m not bitter) bettor in the game long enough eventually suffer and benefits from that improbable sequence of events. Joking about bad beats is a rite of passage and should be seen as great bar story fodder, not justification for blaming others if wagers don’t pan out. Honestly if you’re living and dying with every wager there might be a bigger problem worth addressing.
Never ask another bettor how much he or she wagers
You don’t ask people in the real world how much they make for a living…why the hell would you ask a bettor how much he or she puts on the line every weekend? Certain topics are taboo and this is towards the top of the list. If you’re ever curious to know how a colleague or friend rates his bets don’t ask dollar amounts but rather have him share a reliable position structure. Remember $10 bucks to one bettor can be the same as $1,000 to another depending on bankroll.
Act like you’ve been there before
If you’re betting games regularly you should expect to win bets. I’ll never understand why people have to celebrate every victory like they’ve just won the damn powerball. In the NFL guys may score 20 touchdowns a year so celebrations are expected. The only validation a bettor should need is to see his account balance climbing with each triumph. When you start to look for the approval of internet strangers it might be time to consult a psychologist and work on that low self esteem.
Don’t be a Monday morning quarterback
We all know when we lose bets…we don’t need our friends, family, or twitter to remind us of that fact. There’s nothing worse than having someone tell you that you made a bad bet once the game goes final. No shit, the L on our balance sheet already says that. You want to be helpful? Offer input before the game kicks off and have conviction rather than waiting until the final score is etched in stone and you become clairvoyant. Most bettors will respect input from others, especially those they trust, but nobody values a guy that calls them out after the fact. Trust me, if we all had a crystal ball we’d never have to worry about betting a single loser but until that happens shut your damn pie hole instead of throwing salt in a fresh wound.
