Playing for keeps
They come from near and far to make it big under the bright lights. Whether it’s the smallest towns in the heart of the south, the suburbs of America’s heartland, or the biggest metropolises dotting the Atlantic seaboard something in the air beckons them to leave their friendly surroundings to chase the dream. Individual talents are diverse but the goal remains the same; coming to Vegas to play in the big leagues where the paychecks dwarf anything they ever thought possible. No, I’m not talking about the allure of becoming a professional athlete but rather about the beautiful coeds intent on using their finely manicured bodies, perfectly sculpted physiques, and flirtatious personalities to capitalize on the lucrative 6 month window that is the Vegas pool season.
I may or may not have had this brainstorm one night earlier this summer as Calvin Harris was finishing up his set at Wet Republic while a Wednesday night swim started to wind down. When you think about it in a sports context, life as a bottle girl at the biggest day clubs in Sin City is a lot like being a NFL running back. The offseason is all about working yourself into peak physical condition so your body can take the inevitable pounding knowing that busting your ass for 6 months off the field will eventually lead to massive paydays. Not only are both commodities (running backs and bottle girls) highly sought after during physical peaks, both can see their talent dissipate in the blink of an eye…yes, even at the running back position.
“Bringing them into camp is always a crapshoot, you never know which one will be able to make it through an entire season. There’s always someone just as determined waiting in the wings to take the position if they’re given a chance,” a general manager told me. No, he wasn’t the GM of a NFL franchise but rather one responsible for operating a day club known to do over 7 figures during summer’s biggest holiday weekends.
I know what everyone’s thinking; man this guy’s a real chauvinist asshole but when you really think about it the life of a Las Vegas pool girl’s career trajectory resembles that of a NFL running back on so many levels. No, seriously before you start snickering that I’m pulling this analogy out of my ass let me at least make my case more compelling for those who think my thought process is bordering on the absurd.
Here are the top 10 reasons working at a Vegas day club is like being a NFL running back
10) Signing contracts means meeting expectations. Maintaining a certain level of appearance and on the job performance under adverse conditions is non-negotiable.
9) Surgery is just a part of the game
8) When there’s a change in management heads will roll. The new regime always wants to hand select the talent to fit their scheme
7) The best in the business find a way to make big plays by gaining yards after contact, fumbling always gets you benched.
6) Peak earning years need to be maximized before the age of 30. Father time remains undefeated and once there’s too much tread on the tire, pay days aren’t lucrative
5) Money management is critical; making shrewd investments can set you up for life but frivolously spending on cars, boats, homes, and jewelry will leave you bankrupt
4) Drug and alcohol abuse ruin careers faster than anything.
3) Social status and prestige is a byproduct of the increased exposure. Play your cards right and there’s an opportunity to make some extra money in product endorsements but step out of line and the results aren’t favorable.
2) The machine is always bigger than its individual cogs; everyone can be replaced.
1) No matter how established you’ve become in the business there’s always someone younger, fitter, and hungrier looking to take your job.
There you have it…10 ways the hard working girls of Las Vegas day clubs remind us all of our favorite running backs (although I’ll take the day club girls in swimwear over running backs any day of the week). Remember, when your investing that hard earned discretionary income in either form of entertainment, there’s an actual person trying to make a living before their body betrays them.
